• If I could just sit still for a moment…

    I see myself clearly

    It’s so predictable that we look to hold everyone and everything else accountable for the tragedy in Florida, rather than looking inward to see how we contributed. We blame the NRA, the guns, mental illness and the President. We look to make this someone else’s issue and expect them to resolve it so it never happens again.

    Have you stopped to ask how we contributed to this mess? Have you stopped to consider your thoughts and behaviors and how they affect the collective community? Have you asked yourself why there are so many young men who are so angry, resorting to such terrible crimes against other humans?

    We are all responsible for this tragedy. We have all contributed to the current society and culture, and it is our responsibility to alter the state of being we are all in.

    We have become a society of disposable everything – including humans.

    If you produce movies and TV shows that depict murder, you are accountable
    If you write books about killing others, you are accountable.
    If you write and sing songs about mayhem against another human, you are accountable.

    If you gossip about others, you are accountable.
    If you are mean to or speak unkind of yourself and others, you are accountable.
    If you yell at others, curse at others, and fight with words, you are accountable.
    If you lie to yourself and others, you are accountable.

    If you tap into social media to ‘wrong’ someone else, you are accountable.
    If you deplete and demean another, you are accountable.
    If you allow others to deplete and demean you, you are accountable.

    If you compare and judge yourself and others, you are accountable.

    If you pressure others into doing what will make you or them look good, you are accountable.
    If you pressure your child to be better than others, you are accountable.
    If you compare your child’s grades to another child, you are accountable.

    If you insist your son toughen up, you are accountable.
    If you teach your son it’s weak to cry, you are accountable.
    If you teach your son to resolve issues with his hands and lethal tongue, you are accountable.

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    If you hit your child, you are accountable.

    If you say mean things to your child, you are accountable.
    If you label your child or call them names, you are accountable.

    If you call yourself fat in front of your daughters, you are accountable
    If you exclude others because they don’t look the way society says they should, you are accountable.
    If you teach your daughter that looks are everything, you are accountable.

    If you drive like a bat out of hell, you are accountable.
    If you cut people off with road rage, you are accountable.
    If the rules of driving don’t apply to you, and they do to everyone else, you are accountable.

    If you don’t pick up after your pooch poops in a public places, you are accountable.

    If you speak ill of your child’s other parent, you are accountable.
    If you are vocal about hating your job and your boss, you are accountable.
    If you are a victim of life and all your circumstances, you are accountable.

    If you are mean to yourself and speak ill of yourself, you are accountable.
    If you are always on a diet because you don’t look good enough, you are accountable.
    If you multitask while your child is speaking to you, you are accountable.

    We are all accountable because each of these behaviors creates our society. Thoughts travel at the speed of light. Whether you say it or just think it, that thought is absorbed by universal energy and has an effect on everyone.

    We are so fixated on doing things better than everyone else, we’ve forgotten how to BE with each other. This isn’t a gun problem or the Presidents problem.

    This is OUR problem.

    If we have any hopes of eliminating violence like this, we must heal our souls and the souls of our children. Our community is in despair and we must learn that suppressing and ignoring our emotional body, by disconnecting from our internal wisdom, is the antithesis to eliminating violence. We are so scared to process through our suppressed hurts, that we lock ourselves out of our own bodies. We lose our ability to listen to our internal guidance system, yet the body has to release these feelings one way or another. Sometimes the release comes in form of disease, sometimes in form of losing our jobs, marriage, friendships, and sometimes the release comes in form of deadly acts against others.

    We have become a society that pretends to be well, and in reality, is suffering deeply. If you need evidence, just turn the news on. Our houses are fabulous, and our bodies riddled with disease. Our cars are luxurious, and our hearts shackled in pain. Our diplomas plentiful, yet our ability to give and receive love is absent. Our closets are full of nice clothing and shoes, and our words are cunning and curt. Our outward appearance is perfect, while our inside world crumbles to pieces.

    loving ourseles
    So what do we do now? Here’s what I suggest:

    If you feel badly about yourself, get help. If you feel stuck, lost, unmotivated and totally defeated, call a coach, a therapist, a Dr., a religious leader, read Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. Get help fast! If you feel stuck in the past and know you are carrying years’ worth of old pain and resentments, get help!

    If you think your child isn’t watching your every move or listening to your every word, you are mistaken. They will either be just like you or polar opposite; neither of which are a powerful position. This is what’s called a default position.

    Be kind to everyone, including yourself.
    Be loving, to everyone, starting with yourself.
    Know you are enough and worthy of love and belonging.

    How will our children learn to heal their own souls if they are watching us? There is a better way. It’s not the fastest, most pleasant or least painful, but it is the one with the largest rewards and so worth the journey!

    It’s up to us. You in? I am. Now.

     

     

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